Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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