STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
