Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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