At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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