Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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