eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
