I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
