thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
