dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
