The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
