We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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