So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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