I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
