So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
