so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
