So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize