I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize