then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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