I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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