I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
