Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
