Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
