I cockslap morals
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
