May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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