So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
