Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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