It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
