Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She's JV to your varsity
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize