She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
