I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
