Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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