i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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