She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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