Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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