i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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