i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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