So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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