I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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