before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
