Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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