the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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