we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize