didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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