Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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