i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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