Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
