dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
