Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
