508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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