is wine microwaveable?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
