I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
