C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
are you so shy because you have an std?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
