btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i need some magic done to my vagina
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
