like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
