"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
