Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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