wrigley field is MILF paradise
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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