He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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