if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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