Just cropdusted the office
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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