Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
