She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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