Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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