drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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