That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
