Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
